Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Confessions of a Retail Clerk

When I'm not at school, or writing this blog I work at a retail store.  In my store we sell St. Louis sports apparel--Cardinals jerseys, Blues sweatshirts, Rams toothbrushes (I swear) ect.  In my year plus time at the store I have become pretty much immune to the outlandish things customers say to me.  Just last week an old man came in and tried to convince me that the Cardinals were switching hats--you know the ones that they have been wearing since at least1900 and have worn consistently starting in 1966--because he recently saw a picture in the paper of the hideous batting practice hats introduced last year.  I generally let things like that roll off of me and don't give them a second thought.  
But I have to admit last Sunday a customer caught me off guard.  The store was empty and I was lazily leaning on the counter (Time to lean? Then you have time to clean. As one of my ex-employers would have said to me.)  when an unassuming thirty-something petite woman walked through the front door.  She started out with the normal backstory that all customers feel bound to give, about how she she has looked everywhere and can't find the item she is looking for--you know the part I tune out until they finally get to the question.  Then out of nowhere she asked if we had any Cardinal lingerie.  After I politely told her that we didn't she explained that her sister was a huge Cardinal fan and that one time she had in fact seen Cardinals lingerie.  
Working in sports retail I'm privy to an odd collection of wears peddled by sales men, and the closest thing I've seen to lingerie is Alyssa Milano's line of MLB clothes for women.  So after she left I ran to my computer to see if sports lingerie actually exists, and boy does it.
So without further adieu the top 5 sports under garments found on the web

Number 5: The Red Wings nighty 

Let's take Hockey Town downtown



Number 4: LSU panties 
Restore the roar in your love life.


Number 3: Three way tie
Go prospecting for gold.
Come on out and meet the Mets.

Get involved in a video taping scandal you can be proud of.



Number 2: Chargers thong


I'd put a charge into tha.....what do mean it's a mannequin?


Number 1: Football hammock


Are you a real fan or not?





3 comments:

Anonymous said...

A few years ago, I bought Cardinals panties for my wife at the previous Busch Stadium. They had G-strings like the 49s one you show, but also cotton thongs and briefs.

I would guess they still have them at the stadium store.

Eric said...

I saw your blog that was linked through uniwatchblog.com and would like to find those panties and and such for my wife. I am ahuge sports fan and she is sweet enough to indulge me. I tried to search sports lingerie but didn't findthose articles. Could you please email me with teh web adress so that I could locate it and possible get some for my wife?
Thanks
daddyfisk22@gamil.com

Atencio said...

Eric you e-mail address does not work.