Tuesday, March 18, 2008

ESPN: ho-hum lives here

The NCAA bracket was released Sunday night. Undoubtedly this means that you have spent your entire week filling out brackets and avoiding school and work. But there are those among us that are paid to sift through the tournament. These people are anointed experts by their networks or publications. People all over the country wait for these people to weigh in before they fill out their own brackets. These experts go generally unchecked. Anyone remember who Dick Vitale picked to win the 2006 tourney? I've decided to anoint myself an expert on experts. Over the next several days I will compile the experts picks from as many sources as possible and evaluate them at the end of the tournament.  

ESPN.com experts.
Pat Forde
Qualifications: Writes for ESPN.com about horse racing and collage sports, a 1987 graduate of the University of Missouri, and is the bastard child of Henry Ford.

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis:  Pat gets street cred for going out of the box and picking a 3 seed.

Fran Fraschilla
Qualifications: Coached at 3 division one schools most notably St. John's, has a career .708 winning percentage, and has the most effeminate name of all the experts at ESPN.

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis:  Don't be to hard on Fran his mother only let him use the grey crayon as a child, if he had access to the other 63 he might have some imagination.

Andy Katz
Qualifications: Writes for ESPN.com, sideline reporter for ESPN, writes for ESPN the magazine, contributes to ESPN radio, is a frequent guest on ESPN News, has ESPN underpants.
Expert analysis on the expert's analysis: Andy likes vanilla ice cream, black and white TV, rice cakes, and number 1 seeds.

ESPN TV personalities weigh in.
Jay Bilas
Qualifications: Played for Duke, drafted by the Dallas Mavericks, licensed attorney, member of the screen actors guild, has Coach K's cell number.
2007 Final Four: 3 out of 4

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis: Grow a pair Jay--all four 1 seeds? Come on.

Hubert Davis
: Played at North Carolina, averaged 8.2 points, 1.5 rebounds and 1.7 assists per game for four different NBA teams, and has seen Micheal Jordan naked.

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis: Ground breaking, he substituted #1 Memphis for #2 Texas.

Digger Phelps
Qualifications: Coached at Notre Dame, shares the NCAA record for most upsets over a #1 team at seven, and has as many highlighters as he does ties.

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis: Jay Bilas should have covered his paper better, Digger has the same final four.

Dick Vitale
Qualifications: Coached the Detroit Pistons to a 30-52 record in the78-79 season, has been a part of ESPN since 1979, and can talk faster than you.
2007 Final Four: 3 out of 4

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis: All 1 and 2 seeds, doesn't anyone at ESPN have any guts what-so-ever? Anyone? 

Enter new hire
Bob Knight
Qualifications: He's Bob Kight
2007 Final Four: Who cares he has 3 national championships.

Expert analysis on the expert's analysis: Do you really think I have the guts to say something derogatory about Coach Knight?

For those keeping score at home North Carolina, Kansas, and UCLA received 7 votes each, Texas 4, Memphis 3, --Xavier, Tennessee, Georgetown, and Pittsburgh all tallied one vote each.  Three experts picked all one seeds, a feat that has never been accomplished.  If ESPN is right then the final four will be North Carolina, Kansas, UCLA, and Texas.  What an exiting tournament that would be.

Found some that I don't have listed? leave a comment.


Apryl DeLancey said...

Great compilation - Fred Roggin here in L.A. (and ESPN Radio) picked the champions as UCLA over Kansas in the last game. He picked North Carolina to be in the final four also but I can't recall the other team he picked...heard it on ESPN radio while I was driving yesterday.

smoke said...

As long as you're busting the balls of the "experts, grow a pair and post your own......

Atencio said...

Smoke, I'll list mine in tomorrows column.

Dustin said...

YOu will like this one